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From: Alan (to Ryan)
Date: 13 Oct 2012
Time: 15:13:30 -0500
Remote Name: 95.144.99.28
Hi Ryan, Thank you for taking the time to read (and respond to) my conference contribution. As I mentioned in my paper, I once held simultaneous membership of 11 different online forums. Today, I have greatly reduced my participation - confining my activity to two groups only. Over the years, I have contributed several thousand posts, embracing a wide range of topics. Yet, despite this extensive involvement, I can’t recall a single incidence where someone expressed offence to one of my posts. I’m not so naive as to believe that no-one has ever disagreed with what I’ve written – it’s simply that they haven’t chosen to register it in writing. :-) There is a danger (when we communicate via an email or post) that the message we intend to convey can sometimes be misunderstood by those who subsequently read it. Perhaps the content is too sparse, hastily composed or inadequately worded. As a result, the reader may fail to appreciate that it has been written in a humorous or light-hearted vein. Very often this can be remedied by the use of an appropriate ‘smiley’ or the expression “lol”. :-) Another relevant point is that members of an online group are, invariably, at different places in their lives. Some have left behind the embarrassment and denial that once caused them to treat stuttering as their darkest secret. Some are able to talk openly about their experiences, while others still find it difficult to discuss the issue, even with friends and members of their own family. In many instances, they are on widely different wavelengths – their beliefs, expectations and aspirations are miles apart. It is, therefore, of prime importance that we take this diversity into account (and remain mindful of the past) when we come into contact (or communicate) with other people who stutter. When I speak (or write) about my history of stuttering, I stress that they are my own experiences. I outline what approaches have been successful for me, but I am careful never to suggest that they will guarantee a similar outcome for anyone else. Some may feel that there is merit in following my example, while others will, undoubtedly, view my offerings with scepticism, indifference and (in some instances) even disdain.:-) That is their prerogative – it is their decision and their decision alone. Each of us is responsible for the path that we tread in life. We make our choices and then shoulder the consequences. We should never attempt to twist arms, or thrust our views down other people’s throats. Such behaviour is, in my view, totally unacceptable, irrespective of the strength (or merit) that we may attach to our opinions or argument. It is quite proper that we should freely express our views but, if we are too forceful in imposing our preferences (or registering our disagreements), there is a danger that our actions may antagonize and evoke resentment or animosity. The world would be a far better place if we all treated our fellow human beings with respect, consideration and courtesy. Ryan, I wish you well with your studies and future career. Kindest regards Alan