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From: Chris Roach
Date: 10/4/01
Time: 2:04:43 PM
Remote Name: 152.163.205.79
Monique, thanks for your interest in our paper. Covert stuttering is indeed an odd phenomenon in that we possess certain "sounds and situational" fluency capabilities in our routine speaking lives. Who knows why? Given any situation in which I could "control" the content of my speech (i.e. social conversation, casual interaction, public speaking, speaking to children), I, as most coverts, can find enough substitutions and distraction tactics to have every word we DO speak be totally fluent. Consequently, the listener would have no idea we stuttered (though they may think some of our avoidance behaviorial antics a little quirky, but not enough to challenge our normalcy.) HOWEVER, when we're required to speak in situations that we can't 100% control (i.e. reading a text in public, testifying, introducing people, limited socially-acceptable synoynms), we crash! Our great fear, when we've hid it so long under "controlled circumstances" is the constant encounter of that "uncontrolled" situation we can't avoid. Because we're seen as fluent by so many listeners, we're humiliated when those same individuals witness us in an "uncontrolled" situation which brings out our stuttering, and often at a very severe degree.
Yes, I utilized about eight SLP's from age 21 - 32. All the traditional therapies for fluency shaping. Unfortunately, that part of my life still housed the driven goal to hide my stuttering without any self or public openness and acceptance. I wanted the therapist to show me another "trick" to maintain "control" in those "uncontrolled" situations. You and I both know that's not achievable in the long term. Sadly, I failed to comprehend the real need to simply accept the stuttering, pursue treatment to learn milder stuttering techniques, and live without the fear. Easier said than done...
Monqiue, thanks again for your inquiry and for taking an active role in this important forum. Good luck!
Chris