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From: Gunars
Date: 10/6/03
Time: 11:07:32 PM
Remote Name: 12.211.116.92
Jennifer,
There are parts of your article with which I totally agree. There are aspects of it that make me uneasy.
Having read a lot of Branden's and Ayn Rand's philosopy (she was both Branden's mentor and lover), I also investigated his antagonist, Albert Ellis.
While both of them agreed on enlightened self-interest, Nathaniel Branden stressed focusing on achievement & excelling leading to pride (arriving at a state where you can rate yourself above other people), Albert Ellis stressed the fallibility of the humans leading to unconditional self-acceptance and the existential and social constructivist stance that rating of a human is both invalid and pernicious.
How can rating of a human be pernicious? For example, today I do well on my job or talk rather fluently, I can stupidly rate myself as a "better" human being. But what happens if I have a dysfluent day? What happens if I, as I age, become less self-efficacious? What happens if I flunk out of school? If I have associated my worth with my achievement, my looks, what I own, and something changes, I no longer can rate myself as "worthwhile".
What happens if I keep on doing well but demand that I keep on doing well? I get anxious. Very anxious. So I stutter more.
With unconditional self-acceptance and understanding that no person can be rated no matter how they screw-up, how dysfluently they speak.
If I can totally unconditionally accept myself when I make mistakes (act like the fallible human being that I am) I still can accept myself. Period. No self-blame. No self-downing. Of course, I do dislike my misdeeds and try to change them. But because I am not flagellating myself, I have more of a chance to stay calm and correct my mistakes and "go out and sin no more".
Many people confuse conditional self-esteem with unconditional self-acceptance. However, Nathaniel Branden did not appear to be one of them. The way I understand him self-efficacy is essential in having being worthy and having a high self-esteem. Being an ordinary fallible human being I am sticking to unconditional self-acceptance and refusing to either rate (compare) myself now with myself in the past, but above all I forgo both the possible pleasure and the subsequent displeasure with my whole existential self.
I hope that you in your interactions with your clients teach them that all people have in their power the refusal to rate themselves and accept themselves unconditionally, whether they stutter or not, whether they struggle with their speech or not, whether they make other errors or not.
When a person rates themselves as bad, incompetent, how can they hope to change what they do, how can they hope to talk with less struggle, how can they hope to communicate better?
Gunars
n his opinion used to be ass