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From: Paul Goldstein
Date: 18 Oct 2004
Time: 13:16:12 -0500
Remote Name: 62.97.250.9
Thank you for those thought-provoking questions, Shulamith! I wish I could give you simple answers. But like many of the deeper aspects of life, there are complexities involved. To TRY to answer (though I can't promise that I'll succeed): While it is hard to pinpoint one particular factor as being most important, I think the foundation for all the other factors is gaining knowledge about life and living, of developing a sense of perspective of oneself - as to what factors in our lives are truly important to our beings, as opposed to simply being surface traits - and of perceiving some of life's wisdoms that seem to be gradually acquired with experience as the years go by. I believe that those wisdoms include an acceptance of "imperfection" (both in ourselves and in others), as well as a realization that others too do not expect us to demonstrate perfection in all matters - and indeed they do not do so either. We all have our particular strengths and "weaknesses"; this is part and parcel of our lives as human beings. For years I used to struggle to maintain as high a level of fluency as I possibly could, by daily speech practice exercises and techniques that I had learned through different therapy programs, as well as through the use of altered auditory feedback devices. I was hooked on the idea that "normal-sounding fluency" in speech was an important major goal to strive for in oral communication with others. But I have since come to realize that this is not an essential part of what life is all about. True, improved fluency can sometimes help us in our quests to achieve particular goals. But at the end of the day, even if we do achieve eventually a reasonably "normal-sounding" fluency in our speech, one needs to ask the question: Is this really what life is all about? Is acquisition of fluency, or improved fluency, a prerequisite to life happiness? At one time I was under the impression that it was. But I don't think so any more - I believe that the degree and consistency of fluency in our daily speech does not at all determine how effectively we communicate and interact with those around us. Some of the reasons underlying my shift in attitude can be read in my essay "At Peace with my Stuttering", which can be accessed at the Stuttering Home Page under the section "PWS speak for themselves". Or you can click on this link: http://www.mnsu.edu/comdis/kuster/PWSspeak/pgoldstein.html On the other hand I do acknowledge that working with speech practice exercises, fluency techniques, devices, etc. can be very helpful for many - as they have been for me. But certainly these don't constitute the whole answer - which may help explain why many find that the effectiveness of some of these approaches is only temporary. I thank you again for your thoughtful questions, and I wish I could provide a simple answer for you. But as we all know, stuttering itself and our personal attitudes surrounding our stuttering are never very simple.