Like Yourself, Believe in Yourself, and Work Hard to Reach Your Goals

[ Contents | Search | Next | Previous | Up ]


Re: Believe in Yourself

From: Gunars
Date: 13 Oct 2004
Time: 23:46:28 -0500
Remote Name: 24.16.236.248

Comments

Dear Emily,…….. …….I think there are two important aspects:….. …….The first is changing the self-sabotaging beliefs about your stuttering:…….. 1. I am worthless, if I stutter. ……. TO: I am a worthwhile person whether I stutter or not. ……. 2. I can’t be happy, if I stutter. ……. TO: Even though it is harder to be happy if I stutter, I can still enjoy many, many things and even become almost as happy whether I stutter or not. ……. 3. I can’t stand stuttering. ……. TO: Although I don’t go around cheering about my stuttering I can learn how to tolerate it quite well. ……. 4. It is awful to stutter. ……. TO: Stuttering has some practical disadvantages, but I don’t have to define it as AWFUL or unbearable. ……. 5. I have to rate myself. Since, I stutter, I rate as an incompetent nincompoop. The lowest of low. ……. TO: I can stop comparing myself to other people. I have some good characteristics and some bad ones. I can accept myself unconditionally without comparing myself. ……. 6. I have to talk perfectly or else I am a total slob. ……. TO: I don’t have to think or call myself a slob even though I stutter. There is no evidence that people who stutter are any worse or better than people who don’t. ……. 7. I must be approved by other people but stuttering makes me unlikable. ……. TO: Some people will like me, some won’t. Some people will dislike me for stuttering. Some people will dislike me for other things. I don’t have to be liked by ALL people. ……. 8. I need, must, and should have perfect speech. ……. TO: It would be nice if I had a more fluent speech, but I don’t NEED it. As for perfect speech, nobody has perfect speech. ……. 9. If people do not understand that I only have a speech impediment and am not mentally damaged goods, they should be damned. ……. TO: Some people are not too smart, but I will not upset myself about them. I will accept them, even though I may not like them. ……. 10. People who act unfairly toward people who stutter should be damned to hell. ……. TO: All people make some mistakes. It is only human. Live and let live. ……. 11. I need an immediate gratification and should speak perfectly, fluently, right now, if I work on my speech and my speech attitudes. ……. TO: Although I would like better speech, I don’t have to speak perfectly or fluently. ……. 12. I need somebody on whom I can depend to help me to get over my stuttering. ……. TO: I can work on my speech and improve it step by step. It would be nice to get some competent help, but if I don’t get competent help, I can still survive. ……. The other aspect is to practice playing around with your speech. The Speech Modification treatment taught by the Speech and Language Professionals is the best. This consists of: ……. 1. Voluntary pseudo-stuttering to desensitize a stutterer (rewire his brain not to be oversensitive about stuttering). ……. 2. Cancellations – both to desensitize the stutterer and teach him some control over his feelings, self-talk, and sound forming. ……. 3. Pullouts – to teach the stutterer stay with the sound and then reform it. 4. Pre-pullouts – to anticipate the stutter and “control” it. ……. From Fluency Shaping I would add: ……. 1. Easy onsets – analogous to pre-pullouts……. 2. Elongation of vowels – this gives a feeling of control over the speech. ……. Gunars


Last changed: 02/21/07